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September 17, 2013
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Book Reviews: The Dirty Streets of Heaven: Vol 1

Journal Entry: Tue Sep 17, 2013, 2:26 PM


Tad William's latest work is a complete abomination. Below is my description of what just might be the worst book I've read this year.

As I sat down today, about a week or two after finishing this book, I originally found myself unable to muster the hate or anger at this horribly written story full of dull, boring, and stupid characters to even rant. However, the more I remembered and though of the book, I could not leave it alone. This is one of those dumbed down featureless boring slogs that is so typical of Young Adult fantasy that I can't imagine any sane person putting this book together without serious contractual force being applied. And that's what this is, YA fiction given form from someone that usually writes high fantasy/tech and it shows through the gaping holes that mimics a plot. So much has been stripped out such as plot development, character development, world building, and consistency that its barely coherent when it isn't blindly pushing forwards towards the end regardless of whether or not a character's actions even make sense.

All you need to know about the book:
The main character wants to have sex with this demon chick and lusts after her constantly. This, however, is a problem, because not only is she working for "the other side," she absolutely refuses to acknowledge his existence. His attempts to self-narrate himself into her pants continues through most of the book, completely jarring me from the main story at every possible opportunity. Major Deal Breaker Do NOT interrupt the main story line with gratuitous self-narration describing how much he lusts after her, unless its somehow related to the plot in some way.

Bobby Dollar, the main protagonist, is trying to solve the mystery of missing souls while at the same time trying to fuck this demoness. He does this by needlessly endangering himself and others in order to contrive a series of situations where the only way out is for HER to save HIM. When that doesn't work, he calls her up on her demonic cellphone and leaves begging for sex messages. That's the book! That's it right there, no need to waste money.

Okay fine, there's more to the book. This demoness starts off wanting Nothing, and I mean NOTHING to do with Bobby. She avoids him at all costs and even attempts to end him just to make him go away. However, mister Dudley-do-Right persists and after managing to kill his way to the top of a suspected demon hive's real world corporate tower, pissing off a major demon in the process, this demoness pulls strings to have a congresswoman personally supervise a SWAT team to extract Bobby! No, really, this happens. Then, after she rescues him, she fucks him solid. Then gives a "I didn't mean nothing by this, so don't take it the wrong way, I just wanted sex" speech, which Bobby ignores and obsesses over. See to him, this sex meant that she actually cares about him, and loves him forever. Thus validating all the creepy stalker behavior he's done so far and continues to do in the book.

Williams spends more time writing bad romance than he spends on the "A Plot," which has to do with some stolen artifact and missing souls. I'd have rather read THAT book.

Such a lackluster effort isn't even worth my time spent writing up a formal review. Don't buy this book.

PS: Book 2 involves Bobby Dollar going to hell to 'save' his alleged lover/fuck-buddy/obsession. Did I mention how she repeatedly states that she doesn't want a relationship and doesn't actually want anything to do with Bobby? So he's breaking into hell to save a demon chick who doesn't want to be saved...

So was this book written by a hard-core feminist, or is it a parody of something? Because Bobby Dollar is the most insufferable misogynistic asshole on the planet. He does everything I've heard from feminists regarding how fucked up and evil men are. He's the embodiment of everything wrong with traditionalism. He's downright evil, he deliberately endangers others, he refuses to think, he's constantly violent, he thinks of nothing but sex all the time, and is a downright vile character. He's such a perfect fit for what feminists claim all men are like, that he's not so much a character, as a blunt 2-D cutout stereotype. One last thing, for the sake of brevity, I've removed my quotes regarding this shit-head's description of this female demon. He keeps telling himself that she's really ugly inside, but boy does he want to fuck her body...


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Anazuzu Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013
she leaves the locket with him, so she does want a relationship with him. I greatly enjoyed the whole third-way mystery.
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